"No need to fix what God already put his paintbrush on"- J. Cole
No matter how many times I read that quote it still gets me. Life itself and everything in it were created by God himself the artist of all things.
Since the day I was born, I have always loved waterfalls and hiking, growing up in Oregon there is always a hike somewhere that you can take. But my particular favorite ones are where the water of the earth starts to peek out until the glorious sun- Waterfalls.
I've always looked at these beautiful pieces of nature from God as something magnificent. They rarely fail to take my breath away.
Several weekends ago I had a moment where I realized something that will forever change my view on Waterfalls.
I could slightly see myself starting to get tired the day I proceeded to have my body image breakdown, but I didn't expect myself to go this extreme.
I've explained this to people before-my heart is yelling "STOOOPPP STOOPPP" but no matter how hard I try my head takes over. It's a constant mental battle in my head, and the bad days are bad, and the good days are ok.
For me, sometimes the most difficult days are the simplest days. My waterfall breakdown was because of a singular picture my mother took of me. My head game was going back and forth. I was fighting so hard but just not enough. I was trying to handle everything in my own hands.
That day I literally hated every part of my body, every. single. thing. about. myself. I could barely look at the picture, I was letting Satan get in my head and he was winning.
My mother had taken an adorable picture of my little sister and me, and I choose to let every negative thought creep into my head. Several hours later I was standing in front of Oregon's most beautiful waterfalls, barely breathing because of the beauty it radiated.
and at that moment, it all changed.
The same God that took his paintbrush dipped it into the light blue watercolor and slightly pressed it onto the page of mossy green and fir brown.
THE SAME GOD.
took his hands and clayed me together in his image. Designed me.
In his image.
<SO WHAT ON THIS GREEN EARTH LEAD ME TO BELIEVE THAT I COULD CRITICIZE THE CREATOR>
Because the moment I start letting myself speak negative things about my body.
Is the moment that I start telling God he has made a mistake.
I would never in a million years walk up to my friends and tell them that they look ugly, or that they aren't worthy, or that God probably should have just given up on them by now.
are you kidding me?
I am everyone's biggest cheerleader. So why do I give up on myself?
I would never walk up to that waterfall stare it down, look it up and down, and go "wow God really failed on you".
Nope, so why do I give up on myself.
Tell your negative thoughts to go take a hike.